Always
remember that you must "TRUST" the
person you have elected to play with, with your
life.
-Domme
Maggie-
BDSM
INFORMATION For The "Newbie"
You
simply have no idea how many calls I receive from
people who state: I want to book an appointment. I
have never done this, but I have always had an
interest. I found your website on the Internet.
Frankly,
that's wonderful. But how the heck do they know if
I am the "RIGHT" Dominant for them to be
playing with?
Get
comfortable little one, 'cause Domme
is going to enlighten you.
Some
may not agree with what I am going to tell you,
but these are My beliefs and opinions.
you
can take them, or leave them.
In
the Alternative Lifestyle of BDSM, W/we all
respect, live by and play by the understanding and
acceptance of SAFE, SANE, CONSENSUAL.
SAFE:
Both
parties should be able to relax and feel secure
being alone with the other.
For
THIS reason, Both people should take the extra
step to verify the other.
Either
before meeting, which eliminates players, or upon
arrival. Knowing that you are going to be
"SAFE" makes
a first time meeting or first time play a lot
easier.
SANE:
Mentally
healthy, sound, rational, sensible judgment on
B/both parts.
CONSENSUAL
PLAY:
Discuss
your interests, your experience level, your
boundaries, your limits, your safe words.
Only
through discussion and negotiating, can you both
reach your own play rules which govern the
Dominants actions and reactions.
Both
should agree to this, for to do otherwise, it
would not be consensual.
R.A.C.K:
Risk
Assessed Consensual Kink
This
means you have assessed the risk of the kink or
fetish you are going to indulge in and have accepted
it.
However,
don't be surprised when one of your limits, is
pushed beyond what you thought you might get.
A
good example is accidentally receiving a cut during knife play.
RACK
is generally for more experienced players.
SAFE
CALLS:
This
is a phone call you arrange between yourself and
someone you trust.
Setting
a "Specific" check in time with them.
The
"norm" is: you call this person once you
arrive at your appointed meeting place.
A
good rule of thumb is to add an extra 15-30
minutes to your appointed time.
you
tell them "about" how long your meeting
will be, advising them you will call them back
once you get out of your "meeting." Be
sure you follow through with the follow-up
"meeting over" call. Don't blow it off.
It's
important that someone be aware of a time line of
your movements.
If
you are from Out Of Town and staying in a Hotel,
and it is a night time meeting, Call them as well
once you are safely back in your room.
After
a while you will develop your own way of handling
your safe calls. Just remember, no matter WHO you
play with or are meeting, it is important to have
a "Safe Call."
Use
common sense.
As
a Professional Dominatrix, I can assure anyone who
books appointments with Me, that you will leave Me
safely and totally intact. However, I can not and
will not be responsible for your movements AFTER
you leave Me.
MEETINGS:
If
the person you have elected to "PLAY"
with can be verified as a "REAL"
Dominant, then allow them to take the lead while
explaining their rules on meetings.
Myself
for example, I will never place Myself or a client
in a situation in which either of us will not feel
comfortable or unsafe. As well, I will always have
a "stand-in" for security purposes
within shouting distance or by using an electronic
buzzer to notify My security that I require
"Help" or something is wrong.
If
you are not hiring a PRO, be very careful who and
where you meet someone.
Unfortunately,
BDSM is the only venue where predators can hide,
because their victims come to them willingly. In
short, KNOW WHOM.. you are playing with.
THE
HOUSE:
This
phrase can mean one of two things.
It
may refer to the BDSM Lifestyle as a whole, or it
may be referring to an established
"HOUSE," which is comprised of verifiable
Lifestyle Members.
In
this instance, I will discuss the Lifestyle as a
whole.
Consider
if you will a pie, representing the lifestyle. It
is divided in half.
One
half represents the sensual side of the House. The
other half would be the Leather.
The
titles used in either side are infinite.
However,
you are more apt to find the Tops, bottoms
and switches on the leather side of the house.
What
does this mean to you? The play is generally,
harder, stronger and rougher on the leather side
of the house. There tends to be more edge play, as
well as sadists and masochists.
So
given this information, it is up to you to decide
what your needs are and which side of the House
will best suit your needs.
If
you are someone who is NOT into pain at all, why
in the world would you book time with a Leather
Dominant? They are going to naturally play harder
than a Sensual Dominant will.
Conversely,
If you are a little pain slut, perhaps a Sensual
Dominant will not meet your needs for experiencing
pain.
That
is why it is so important to not only know WHO you
are playing with, but how they classify their self.
As
well as what they are willing to do and their
Limits.
REMEMBER!
Not all Dominants play equal.
So
READ their information. ASK
Questions.
Be
perfectly clear about what your needs are and what
you would like to experience.
LIMITS;
This
is the point where something ends. your boundary.
Let's
say you like spankings, but only to a point that
it doesn't "sting" or leave marks.
This
is your limit.
PUSHING
THE LIMIT:
A
good Dominant knows when to Push your Limits. That
is to take it one tiny step further.
One
baby step beyond your limit.
This
teaches you to "open up" and increase
your limits a tiny bit each time.
Through
this consenting process, you are able to
experience more, while becoming comfortable with
the increase of the limitations you have set, all
within the consensus of safety.
Pushing
The Limit is fine and acceptable, as long as it
never violates your Hard Limits.
HARD
LIMITS:
These
are things you will not do.
you
can not be enticed or ordered to do them.
Set
your Hard Limits and stick to them.
Whoa
be the "fool" that states they do not
have any limits or Hard Limits.
Trust
Me, everyone has them. The fact of the matter is,
they just have not been asked to do it yet.
SAFE
WORDS:
These
are mutually agreed upon words, prior to play,
that dictate and guide the Dominant during your
playtime. I
always use safe words . you should too.
Be
sure that you and whomever you are playing with UNDERSTAND
the meanings of each word selected.
Trust
Me, If you set your words, then forget them and
start yelling STOP STOP STOP, chances are, the
Dominant is not going to stop because they will
assume it is part of the play needed to put you in
the right space.
Mine
are the colors of a Traffic Light, as they are
very easy for someone to remember during the
excitement or if you ever experience any unwanted
discomfort... .
GREEN:
Go or Start
YELLOW:
Caution. Don't stop play, just stop what you are
doing at this moment. I don't like it. Do
something different. (The dominant should
immediately do some other type of play)
RED:
STOP! (The dominant should STOP
immediately)
To
use the word which represents: STOP, is
often called: Coding. Never be afraid to
code.
What
you need to understand is this, many times during
play, because it is all about where it takes one
mentally, besides the physical, your mind can put
you in a "head space" that makes you
uncomfortable. Perhaps
it dredges up an uncomfortable or sad memory or
experience which you thought you were over or that
has been long buried or forgotten.
In
My Realm.. The Sensual side of the House, ALL PLAY
STOPS the minute blood is drawn.
Be
it accident or intentional. The wound is attended
to.
Those
who play on "The Dark Side" as I call
it... Those into Blood Sport, Sadist or
masochistic, play through it. Drawing Blood in
play is their "kink" either giving or
receiving.
You
generally find this in S/m play.
NON
VERBAL COMMUNICATION:
Should
you be playing in a venue where, Masks, a ball
gag, gag, loud Music or anything that may
inherently keep your Dominant from hearing your
safe words, arrange to have an "item"
clutched in your fist, to drop.
This
will be the Dominants signal that you want to stop
play. It is a safety precaution all good Dominants
use.
MUTUAL
RESPECT:
The
Dictionary defines Respect as:
1. to feel or show honor or esteem for. 2. to show
consideration for
So with that definition in mind, MUTUAL would be
the exchanging of respect between Two people or
others.
There should always be mutual respect for others
in life, as we know it.
Whether in our everyday vanilla life, or in the
realm of BDSM. But especially in BDSM, till the
other proves they do not warrant our respect by
their actions or deeds.
You may not agree with one's Philosophy.
You may not concur with the way they express their
self.
After all, not everyone is eloquent in
speech.
Many of U/us have trouble expressing how we feel
about certain issues.
BDSM is as varied in thought, as it is in play,
training and relationships.
There are NOT many Hard and fast Rules in BDSM.
But there are a few. Those being Safe, Sane
Consensual, Mutual
Respect and
proper etiquette.
Mutual Respect is one for Both Master/Mistress and
slave/submissive, Top, bottom or switch.
Show
it, as well as earn it though your actions, words
and deeds.
Lastly,
remember that you are a submissive or a
slave.
Being
submissive does not mean you are a passive person.
Just because you are a submissive, this does not
mean you have to be a doormat.
It is not a sign you have hidden desires to be
strung up, have the snot beat out of you,
relegated to being treated like a piece of trash,
to be used then discarded.
It's not about sexual promiscuity.
In point of fact, submissiveness has nothing
whatsoever to do with anything sexual at all.
It is not that one lacks motivation.
Submission is the ACT of one person surrendering
their being to another for a pre-set amount of
time.
Submission cannot be demanded. It cannot be
forced. It is a gift.
It is your gift to One you TRUST and RESPECT.
Welcome
to My World.....
Forewarned,
Forearmed; To be prepared is half the victory.
-Miguel de Cervantes-
Are
you ready to have some fun now?
Get
out your wallet and BOOK NOW!
Copyright© 1997-2008 DommeMaggie.com™
All
Rights Reserved
This web page last
updated: 06/10/2008
